Two spectacular scientific discoveries were announced last week: one in Geneva where CERN scientists provided evidence on the existence of the “God particle” that is believed to have had a crucial role in the creation of the Universe. Almost at the same time, in the heart of Sumadija, in Kragujevac, an alchemic experiment was successfully completed – turning defeat into victory. Chief alchemist, Boris Tadic, protected by the Fiat helmet and vest, announced to the Serbian people that in the last hours of the meeting in Brussels, where negotiations concerning EU accession were underway, Serbia was told to sign a document that would recognize the independence of Kosovo. President’s lie was readily accepted by Ivica Dacic who continued its reiteration. To be honest, said deputy prime minister, recognition of Kosovo is a precondition for EU accession and that is why in March we will not make any major progress towards receiving the candidate status. Unlike the Serbian public, Jelko Kacin and Stefan Fule were unpleasantly surprised and basically said that our president lied and that this was probably intended for internal political use – elections are approaching and he needs to win. When Stefan Fule said that the only thing which is expected from Serbia is to allow free movement of goods, people, ideas and capital across its border with Kosovo… and to prohibit the free movement of Molotov cocktails and sniper bullets, Dacic in an idle fashion responded that this is just another way of asking Serbia to recognize the independence of Kosovo. If so, why have we initiated the candidacy negotiations in the first place, when every action aimed at stabilizing Northern Kosovo is treated as recognizing Kosovo independence? To be frank, everyone knows that this will ultimately lead to Serbia signing the recognition of independence one fine day, probably the day we are accepted as full pledged members into the EU community, but that day will not come in March next year, or the year after; actually, we have yet to come into the decade that this will occur. Dacic also complained that: “in the year 2000, the international community only requested from us to remove Milosevic from power and Kosovo was never a topic, while 11 years later they are coming out with new conditions”. “Who now must we arrest and expedite to The Hague” – angrily asked Dacic. There is no one left for us to transfer to The Hague, but we can always send him. As a gesture of good will he could pick and choose the reason for which he could be tried: from instigating war to atypical large money transfers using briefcases which had originated from his apartment.

Each delay in the process of European integrations, either because of the grotesque judicial reform, simulating war against corruption or suppressing the freedom of the media, had traditionally been explained as the country’s inability to meet the ever-changing EU “special requirements”. It is true that, compared to the Bulgarians, Romanians, Slovaks… we first had The Hague, plus all the conditions applicable to others, and now we have Kosovo, plus all the other conditions. The problem is that The Hague, as well as the war and Kosovo are a part of the same story. We did not lose Kosovo in a rigged game of Las Vegas poker, but in a war that we ourselves started.

It’s becoming more and more obvious that Dacic, Tadic and all others are in fact concerned primarily by those other conditions which they, given their leadership in organizations which more resemble mafia families than political parties, will never be able to meet. They cannot and will not establish the rule of law, nor reduce the level of systemic corruption into something that could be managed, nor stop controlling the media… Since they cannot do that, because it would mean losing power, it is best to stick to the Holy Grail of Serbian politics – Kosovo. If topics such as roadblocks, parallel institutions and smuggling were removed from the daily agenda… and negotiations with the EU on ways to thoroughly reform the state and its institutions were initiated, current Serbian leadership could easily suffer the faith of Ivo Sanader and the HDZ – they would immediately be jailed or become a part of unpleasant history. Dacic, Djelic and others are preparing us for failure in the upcoming March accession negotiations… this is understandable because if, other than protecting Kosovo, they cannot offer anything else to voters, who will dare to sign anything with Edita Tahiri during the election campaign. It is clear as day that Nikolic, Vucic, Kostunica, Velja Ilic and other members of the patriotic clan, would immediately declare them traitors. Various polls often claim that securing basic needs, jobs, decent health care are current priorities for Serbian citizens… and only then Kosovo. Even though this might be true, because they do not have this and will likely not have it anytime soon, citizens of Serbia will choose to fictitiously defend fictitious Kosovo over priorities cited by the polls. In this way they will once again take part in the collective suicide of the state which is unable to survive these continuing internal and external shocks. The penalty for this will be, as it is written in Islamic books, that those who commit suicide will forever continue repeating the act that lead to death. Just like the person who poisoned himself carries to hell a vial of poison and repeatedly drinks from it – so will we carry to the other side a map of Serbia with Kosovo and again, until eternity, eat and choke on it. There is always crazy hope that Tadic and the rest of Dacic-likes keep double books, one set for the nation for which the Sun revolves around the Earth, and another for themselves, in which it is recognized that this is an optical illusion and that in real life the Earth revolves around the Sun. But if their method of bookkeeping is single-entry, which is served to us daily, then we’re in big trouble.

Fortunately, we have a solution: the EU will fall apart making all our dilemmas irrelevant. Speaking from the newest Fiat car model that will conquer the world, Tadic informed us that Serbia has to join Europe because there is no better solution, and that he would gladly reverse the process of Euro-integrations if they could, but this cannot be done. Maybe the stars have not aligned for us, but in the media, cafes and slavas we talk endlessly about the the imminent disappearance of all 27 European stars. If Tesla was alive, we would have requested that he make a time machine in the shape of Noah’s Ark that would take us to 1389. Only once we would stop, in 1415 to visit the square of Constance. There, at the stake, they are burning Jan Hus who does not want to give up his ideas; a bent and toothless old woman passes carrying a stack of brushwood, stops, takes out a branch and adds it to the pyre. Jan Hus, now a Czech national hero, could only say to that – Sancta Simplicitas – Holy Simplicity!

From the radio show, 12/16/11

Pešč, 21.12.2011