One spring during the wars of the nineties, a famous graffito appeared in Belgrade – It’s summertime, and I live in Serbia. Considering how this spring day looks like, it is only logical that you live in Serbia, because the weather is insultingly bad. Vucic, who gave the Prime Minister’s position a try yesterday (Dacic and Thaci were flying to attend the UN Assembly, on the same plane), did not have to complain to us about the “paper” we are being forced to sign. People are so depressed by this rain, wind and mud, that they would not have noticed even if they signed it, especially because they know it is only the late rerun of the events from the Kumanovo tent in spring of 1999.

For the time being, it looks like the replay of the capitulation will coincide with the 14th anniversary of the first Tomahawk flight in the direction of Belgrade. Same as in the spring of 1999, this spring it will not be called capitulation nor surrender. Milosevic’s Radio Television of Serbia speaker victoriously called it “a victory of the peaceful politics of Serbia”. It is not yet known what euphemism will be used on this occasion, but it does not matter: we all know what this is about. The only thing we will not know is why, after 100 years of ruling Kosovo, it is logical that the Serbian state must and should leave that battlefield forever.

Lady Ashton is already at the end of her rope; she even had to celebrate her birthday in the company of Dacic and Thaci, and to accept gifts. From the Serbs, she received a scarf and a pair of gloves, while the Albanians presented her with a necklace. We will be informed about each print on the scarf and every carat of the necklace, but neither we nor the citizens of Kosovo will ultimately have a clear idea of what those two have signed, if they sign, and they will sign something… Everyone will interpret the “paper” in a creative way, but only those who live there or who chose to travel across the border will actually know what is really happening in the field. After this spring, only the Patriarch, Kostunica and Nikolic’s advisors will talk about Kosovo in terms of the soul, heart, cradle and mother. For the rest, it will be “the paper” – which is, for us, considered to be a real historical progress.

This entire heavy diplomatic artillery would have been unnecessary had Ashton’s advisors done their job, and informed her that, during the days of the negotiations, we are playing the soccer game of the millennium against the Croats. If she had phoned Milanovic and informed him that an additional condition for EU membership, Chapter 36, was added for Croatia – to lose from Serbia at the Maksimir stadium, the result would be such euphoria in Belgrade and Kosovska Mitrovica, that Dacic would have been able to sign even the surrender of Presevo valley stress-free. The problem is that the Croats would have refused to fulfill this request – even if it cost them the EU membership. They have gone completely crazy over this game. Such an atmosphere has been created, that the already expected victory over our miserable team would make them happier than the liberation of both Gotovina and Markac.

In the eve of the today’s game, Zagreb is in a state of war, everyone having a uniform with the Croatian flag is being mobilized. The media are expecting “the checkered ones” to uphold the standard of Croatian war veterans – Be heroes – says the cover page of Jutarnji list. For Croats, soccer has taken the place of the Church. The last few days, even the more decent media have been reporting about the game as if it was a military police action: Serbs landed on Pleso, Serbs arrived to Sheraton, Serbs trying out the Maksimir playing field. Five thousand people, amongst them old men, mothers with babies and disabled, attended the training of the Croatian team, cheering them on in the eve of this evening’s war with Chetniks. Prime Minister Milanovic addressed the happy members of the nation who have tickets for tonight’s game with the words – Answer the offenses with a song.

Representatives of the Serbian nation would gladly insult and offend, but they cannot enter the stadium. The inter-state peace agreement states that Serbs cannot enter Maksimir, while Croats cannot enter Marakana. And such a thing is going to be called qualifications for the world soccer championship! The only solution is to play with empty bleachers, or on some neutral ground, for example, in Kuala Lumpur, or maybe, instead of playing real soccer, they can play table soccer in a game room, the result to be accepted in the qualification for world championship. What is being done now is ridiculous. The problem is that this pathology between Serbs and Croats, in the temporary role of soccer fans, will continue in the years to come. And the true orgies will begin when this tango of “checkered ones” and “white eagles” is joined by “black eagles” – when, within some qualifications, we are forced to play with the Kosovo team.

From the radio show, 22.03.2013.

Translated by Bojana Obradovic

Pešč, 26.03.2013.