Since our government has been saying for months that the only problems currently are peace and stability in the region (while everything else is going just great) and stability has been really stable (Montenegro was invited to join NATO, our embassies weren’t attacked after Haradinai’s arrest, Republika Srpska organized both a referendum on celebration and the celebration itself, etc.), in the end we still managed to catch the last train for a conflict – with Kosovo.
Naturally, it’s not a Kosovo train – it’s Serbian, and that’s the problem. Not the fact that it’s a Serbian train, since Serbian trains and buses regularly travel to Kosovo and vice versa, but the fact that the words „Kosovo is Serbia“ are written on it (although this „detail“ keeps getting omitted).
Whoever thought of sending the train saying „Kosovo is Serbia” in about 20 languages to Kosovo? Not the prime minister, that’s for sure. Only a couple of days ago he bragged about the Indian prime minister being blown away by his wise words. A man that smart would surely assume that the slogan „Kosovo is Serbia” wouldn’t go down so well in Kosovo.
Well, if it wasn’t him, who was it? It wasn’t his closest associates either. They told us that the prime minister’s decision to stop the train before entering Kosovo was a wise one. (That’s what the officials of the Office for Kosovo and Metohia also thought, as they left the train on time, some of them right at the start in Belgrade.)
And it definitely wasn’t the president – he wouldn’t want to cause a conflict with NATO which, as he said with a smile, wouldn’t involve just the army, but all of us, including him, which wouldn’t be his first time! It is election year, but we’re not choosing a war commander, are we? If he was trying to campaign for the elections, he would emphasise human rights and liberties and not compulsory mobilization, right?
It wasn’t the „foreign powers” either, because our government doesn’t even allow them to interfere with our most important decisions, let alone a minor one like designing a train. Admittedly, the West keeps getting accused of undermining the government, but not successfully. And the train was produced and painted in Russia, but following our design, so it wasn’t Russia either.
Last, but not least, we know for a fact that the opposition and presidential candidates aren’t responsible for this skulduggery which has put in danger much more than the lives of the people on the train and those living at the train’s destination (because if they were, the government would have already accused them).
So, who was it? Kosovo Albanians? But the prime minister ridiculed them by saying that they can’t even mine the rail tracks properly, let alone be responsible for such a diabolical plan?
Or perhaps it was the media, who have been announcing pogroms and our military intervention as a response? But they can only cause a media war, not a real one. It’s not the nineties, after all.
The only ones left are (again) complete idiots. The Director of the Office for Kosovo and Metohija has already associated this incident with the one from Savamala („they keep accusing us of demolishing some shacks and nonsense like that“), so it’s entirely possible that we should once again look for the perpetrators among the group of complete idiots. N.B. – I said look for. Not find.
Translated by Marijana Simic