Photo: Predrag Trokicić
Photo: Predrag Trokicić

The Criminal Code is undergoing new amendments. One of the main changes is the length of the prison sentence for rape. Instead of the previous maximum of 15 years, the amendments propose the possibility of life imprisonment for the perpetrators of this criminal act. The tightening of the penal policy will not achieve the desired effect until the attitude of society towards sexual crimes has changed. Traditionally, even the “ideal” rape victim is forever just that – a rape victim. She is stained, dirty, damaged. From that moment until the end of her life, she deserves nothing but pity. Her humanity is denied at every turn. Her every reaction and every decision is analysed to determine whether she even deserves that pity. Most of them don’t manage to “deserve” even that much, because they were in the “wrong” clothes, in the “wrong” place, with the “wrong” man.

In this respect, society in Serbia does not differ much from the European average. Maybe here it is allowed to attack women who have survived sexual crimes more openly, or we have fewer police officers who are sensitized to work with victims of sexual crimes, but women all over Europe face similar problems. Primarily, a strong feeling of shame. One woman in France has decided to change that.

Gisele Pelicot is at the centre of a trial that dominates the French media. Her ex-husband Dominique Pelicot admitted that, for almost ten years, he drugged his wife and invited men to abuse her. He filmed and photographed the abuse. Thanks to those recordings and photographs, in addition to Dominique, fifty other men who participated in the violence are on trial. French and world media describe Giselle as dignified, but above all as brave. Her courage is reflected in the fact that she has waived her right to anonymity. She decided to go one step further and request that the court make the videos of her abuse available to the public. She reasoned that the shame must be returned to the ones to whom it belongs – the abusers. First of all, to her ex-husband of fifty years, but also to the men who participated in her abuse. Gisele said she wants to do everything in her power so that no other woman experiences what she has experienced.

Milena Radulović gave a similar reason. The trial of acting coach Miroslav Mika Aleksić, which is still ongoing, brought us face to face with a man who used his position of authority to sexually abuse female students at his school. Radulović decided to report Aleksić when she found out that she was not the only one he abused. She reported the case to the police and exposed herself to the public. Why didn’t she go public earlier? Was she perhaps enjoying the attention her acting coach was giving her? Could she have used that attention to land better roles? – are just some of the questions she got from the public. In fact, these are some of the less vicious ones.

The real question is – why are victims of sexual crimes expected to be brave? After surviving the trauma, why are they expected to go out in public and experience it again? Why are they expected to be dignified, restrained, to speak about the worst experience they’ve ever had calmly (but not too calmly)? Where are the men in all this?

Dozens of men took part in the sexual abuse of Gisele Pelicot. Ordinary, typical men. Men aged 26 to 74, pensioners, medical technicians, firefighters, journalists – all of them were invited by Dominique Pelicot and offered sex with his drugged wife. None of the men on trial thought to check if the woman had agreed to it. And where are all the men that Dominique contacted, or who saw his offer and thought something may be wrong? The case only came to light after Dominique Pelicot was arrested for photographing women in a supermarket without their knowledge. After that, the police examined the defendant’s electronic devices and found recordings of the abuse of Gisele Pelicot. So, by chance.

Gisele Pelicot is undeniably a brave woman and her decision to give up her anonymity to shame her abusers is admirable. However, should we also shame all those men who knew what was going on, or at least suspected, then thought “I would never do that”, and decided that was enough? They decided that this bare minimum of humanity is enough to make them good men. No amount of toughening of the penal policy will change the attitude towards sexual crimes as long as we reward men for a bare minimum of humanity, and until we expect them to be actively involved in reporting and shaming criminals.

Translated by Marijana Simić

Peščanik.net, 18.10.2024.