Just like in Lewis Carroll’s book, on our side of the mirror everything is possible and nothing is true. So it’s possible for a tabloid editor, who’s made a weekly habit out of unmasking conspiracies against the government, to say that a host of a popular TV show is actually a conspirator who has recruited almost all of his guests for a conspiracy to kill our prime minister. I guess that the devious plan was to use deadly humor and make the prime minister die of laughter, but that plan failed because their field agents reported that the prime minister has no sense of humor!
It is also possible for a mass protest to happen in the center of the capital and that the only thing that is said about it in the main news is read from the statement of the ruling party, and another party hoping to be included in the new government. Together with an image of “citizens making spontaneous protests against the protest by placing banners on their windows”. These news are written in the same handwriting whose authenticity couldn’t be disputed even by the mayor’s Bulgarian graphologists. They are also written with the same sense of humor (where the word “duck” has only the one, vulgar slang meaning).1 But, as a deliberately crappy banner from Zagreb protests said: every government gets the banner it deserves.
It is also possible for a government to put out a protest, an official one, saying that it’s not fair for the public to protest now, when it didn’t protest when some other people (or the same people, but under a different government) “operated under ski masks”. Which only proves that they started this mischief because they believed that the mischief will go unnoticed. And now it’s angry (the government, not the mischief, although I understand why the two are easy to mix) because they were caught doing something that some others have already done without consequences. Which is, I guess, a legitimate complaint of any criminal since the beginning of laws and courts. But, not a legitimate defense, especially when we’re talking about the state.
Finally, it’s possible to persistently compare one’s self-proclaimed hyperactivity disorder with self-sacrificing work for the good of the nation (and not with running on a treadmill, which is beneficial, but only for the person jogging), and to call the protesters (not the Weber kind the prime minister keeps wishing for, but the domestic kind he keeps criticizing) foreign agents (I guess that their secret salute is “may the cash be with you”), and then explain that they don’t even spend that money legally in shopping malls, but in some “tit for tat” activities.
So, it’s not surprising that we’re only one front page away from the accusation that the Mad Hatter (Carroll’s, not ours) is actually calling for October 6th to happen. What, you didn’t notice? How about that 10/6 hanging from his hat? 10/6 in English, and 6/10 in Serbian? Ah, now you see it makes perfect sense. And what about the fact that he keeps throwing tea parties. There you go. And then they say that conspiracy theories are crazy.
Translated by Marijana Simic